then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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