You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize