accomplished twins. life is a go
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize