I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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