I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
