You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
