let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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