It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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