some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I looked at my own cervix.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
