you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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