I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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