people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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