he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize