I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
