I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
