i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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