If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i believe in u and ur pee
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
