nut hugger
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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