youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
