Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
