He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
