He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
