I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this just has baby written all over it
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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