I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
