There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
