they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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