i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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