Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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