ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
