he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
