Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
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It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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