you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
