i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I could fuck to npr.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize