Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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