Porn is love you can see.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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