you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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