how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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