btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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