you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
