He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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