I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
