i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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