dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
