u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
