I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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