You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
