i barfeds in our rink
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My penis needs a shock collar
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
