they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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