Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
