She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
