You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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