Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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