And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
