I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize