Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
